sleep insobriety rides away

only now, upon this time while eating toast, do i realize. the whine of a northern hemisphere voice, gently enveloped in the afternoon drizzle, and i am performing these functions for the first time.

weeks of phone-call wake-ups, the sustained evenings denying the roll into morning, squinting to avoid the light. and the not eating, too, placating the nervous hunger with meals stolen from an officemate’s table. i haven’t bought a newspaper for a month.

earlier, i thought a microwave oven was a man, a man was a sideboard and a joke was an insult. so i made someone go and stand outside in the rain without a jacket and locked the door until i could think again.

so only now, as i rise at seven in the morning, do i realize that i’m sleeping again.

not at this exact instant obviously.