today, today

“how long have you been unemployed?”
“i’m not unemployed.”
“how long have you been unemployed?”
“all my life. today and tomorrow.”
“what have you done with your life?”
“i’ve got a job.”
“what have you done with your life?”
“nothing. nothing at all.”

today, today. why does these words seem to toll like great bells? today–the imperative. today you must do something. today, it must happen, and yet my today is only the nudity of the call. it says: you must act, you who know nothing of action. urgency: act! today is the day for–but for what?

what is the question that is also tearing me apart? the question which dissolves the answers it seeks, and perpetuates only its answerless opening? the question lives in its space, its call. lives in its skepticism, in the perhaps it inserts before every statement. lives in the perhaps, lives and dies.

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