tomorrow is forever

walking the streets tonight
whilst thinking that tomorrow
is forever and yesterday is a lost dream.

james everyman, 1911-1987

they hear me, always.

—-o—-oOo—-o—-

we spoke in conversation last night, a conversation i had suggested, and managed to set up an expanse of land between ourselves so that, as we shouted across the expanse, the words became distorted with distance and were misheard. we employed methods of communication, sometimes repeating the words over and over, or drawing out the vowels and accenting the hard sounds.

nothing worked, we were deaf to each other. i picked up a guitar and you waited for me to play. you did the same and we sat in silence.

my fingers quivered as they pressed the strings, without noise. soon they were playing, but it was too late to retrieve the onus. i tried to follow your footsteps, picking my way through a minefield disguised as a vegetable patch, pursuing your secure path. we soon grew bored of this unstated chase and you stopped playing.

i continued for ten minutes while you investigated the ceiling and measured the lengths of your fingers.

soon after, i left.

your house is the only one in the street with steps and foliage. as i walked down to the level of the street, sideways, i felt the cold and turned to say goodbye. you were already laughing and closing the door in a friendly way. i took my first step onto the street among the first swing of rainy nights and then turned as i heard you speak. the door was already closed. i set off down the road, swore that i heard it open once more.

—-o—-oOo—-o—-

the park is dangerous at night; i have been told.

—-o—-oOo—-o—-

full of invigorating melancholia and interesting fatigue, i walked home. this only happens to cynics and critics.

the city was dead and the streets were empty. pockets of life were seen encapsulated behind the curtains of a flickering living room, or heard, breathy, through a barely open window.

my plan was always to walk and take pictures. such was the parity of the situation.

the camera took pictures of streetlights mainly. some were at a distance, caught communal in clusters, while others were strung out in regulated formation, confirming perspective, distance and the curve of the journey home, angling the camera as it passed under the flare of the light.

i wanted to take pictures of the ghost of myself.

when walking alone at night, through deserted streets, it is possible to take pictures of the ghost of oneself as it extends beyond us looking for sleep. it was past midnight and i photographed nothing of interest.

i was soon home.

—-o—-oOo—-o—-

i was not expecting to see anyone, and i didn’t. this is how things usually are. they hear me as i return to sleep. i hear them as they usher quiet goodbyes under the door.

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One Response to “tomorrow is forever”

  1. i wanted to take pictures of the ghost of myself.

    Were it possible, if only to see oneself and finally understand.

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